Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love

When someone reflects on their social relationships in life, they may think about the those they love. According to Robert Sternberg and his Triangular Theory, there are seven forms of love, outside of nonlove, that may vary from one relationship to another and even over time in the same relationship.

That is, as people go through life, they can connect different components that would then develop into differential expressions—from merely being close friends…to lovers…and enduring life partners.

At the base of one corner is commitment—a cognitive process involving a decision to initiate or maintain a relationship. Without any further effort, the love is “empty”; the individual has simply declared that the relationship exists.

On the other corner is passion—an aroused state of positive absorption in another person. This addictive mode of attraction is often present at the beginning, under the arousing lure of physical looks, cognitive charm, or instinctual impulses.

By itself, the love is an infatuation, whereas combining passion and commitment describes a fatuous love, like a love affair.

From here, there are two sides to ascend; both are capped by intimacy—a closeness or liking that occurs by mutually sharing personal details, feelings, and thoughts, beyond small-talk. This form of self-disclosure ensures a reciprocation that deepens the emotional connection between friends.

On one hand, if deprived of commitment, the relationship is one of purely romantic love. And on the other, without passion, the maturational bond develops into companionate love, a truly deep friendship.

Over time, both people may contribute to the possibility of equity—an equal proportion of giving and receiving.

Ultimately, with all components present—commitment, passion, and intimacy—consummate love has a chance to reign, even as some portions can wax and wane. As other prominent psychologists have noted, for love to endure any inevitable setbacks, the number of positive rewards and interactions must outweigh the negative encounters.