Theory of Romantic Attachment in Adulthood

Building off of John Bowlby’s Theory of Attachment—the central premise that our early attachments with our parental figures shape our relationships for the rest of our lives— researchers Cindy Hazan and Phillip Shaver examined his ideas in the context of adult romantic relationships. More specifically, they noted parallels between infant-caregiver relationships and adult romantic relationships, such as both feel safe when the other is nearby and responsive but insecure when the other is inaccessible.

Given these and many other similarities, the researchers argued that adult romantic relationships could also be attachment processes. In their original study, they created a questionnaire to measure attachment styles—differences that best described individuals’ attitudes towards others in close relationships. The types—secure, avoidant, and anxious-resistant—were essentially the adult analogues of what Mary Ainsworth identified in her research with infants.

With this three-category measure, they found that 60% of adults classified themselves as secure, 20% were avoidant, and about 20% were anxious-resistant. However, rather than being of a certain attachment type, other researchers added that adult attachment patterns could be more accurately represented in terms of dimensions. That is, most of the variation in reports falls within two fundamental dimensions—anxiety and avoidance—and the levels can vary from high to low. 

In one variable, attachment-related anxiety, people who score highly are more likely to worry about whether their partners are available and attentive, whereas those who score on the low end are more secure in the perceived responsiveness of their partners.

In the other variable, attachment-related avoidance, individuals on the low end are comfortable with intimacy and interdependence, whereas those on the high end find others aversive to some degree; they prefer not to rely or open up to them.

If an individual scores low in both of these dimensions, they would not be anxious about rejection or abandonment and instead seek closeness and support from their romantic partner. With this pattern of security, they are also more likely to experience numerous positive outcomes in relationships, like a great amount of satisfaction and longevity with their partner. In addition, the couple is more likely to count on each other for support when one side is distressed.

Now, what about the the source and degree of overlap between attachment orientations in adulthood? On the one hand, adults who are secure in their romantic relationships are more likely to recall their childhood relationships with their parental attachment figures as being affectionate and accepting. Yet, according to research, there is a modest degree of overlap between how secure people feel with different relationships, like their parents or friends, and how secure they feel with their romantic partners. Thus, there’s room for change across different types of relationships. Regardless, the attachment system may continue to influence behavior, thoughts, and feelings in adulthood.