11.3
Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love
When someone reflects on their social relationships in life, they may think about the those they love. According to Robert Sternberg and his Triangular Theory, there are seven forms of love, outside of nonlove, that may vary from one relationship to another and even over time in the same relationship.
That is, as people go through life, they can connect different components that would then develop into differential expressions—from merely being close friends…to lovers…and enduring life partners.
At the base of one corner is commitment—a cognitive process involving a decision to initiate or maintain a relationship. Without any further effort, the love is “empty”; the individual has simply declared that the relationship exists.
On the other corner is passion—an aroused state of positive absorption in another person. This addictive mode of attraction is often present at the beginning, under the arousing lure of physical looks, cognitive charm, or instinctual impulses.
By itself, the love is an infatuation, whereas combining passion and commitment describes a fatuous love, like a love affair.
From here, there are two sides to ascend; both are capped by intimacy—a closeness or liking that occurs by mutually sharing personal details, feelings, and thoughts, beyond small-talk. This form of self-disclosure ensures a reciprocation that deepens the emotional connection between friends.
On one hand, if deprived of commitment, the relationship is one of purely romantic love. And on the other, without passion, the maturational bond develops into companionate love, a truly deep friendship.
Over time, both people may contribute to the possibility of equity—an equal proportion of giving and receiving.
Ultimately, with all components present—commitment, passion, and intimacy—consummate love has a chance to reign, even as some portions can wax and wane. As other prominent psychologists have noted, for love to endure any inevitable setbacks, the number of positive rewards and interactions must outweigh the negative encounters.
We typically love the people with whom we form relationships, but the type of love we have for our family, friends, and lovers differs. Robert Sternberg (1986) proposed that there are three components of love: intimacy, passion, and commitment. These three components form a triangle that defines multiple types of love: this is known as Sternberg’s triangular theory of love. Intimacy is the sharing of details and intimate thoughts and emotions. Passion is the physical attraction—the flame in the fire. Commitment is standing by the person—the “in sickness and health” part of the relationship.
Sternberg (1986) states that a healthy relationship will have all three components of love—intimacy, passion, and commitment—which is described as consummate love. However, different aspects of love might be more prevalent at different life stages. Other forms of love include liking, which is defined as having intimacy but no passion or commitment. Infatuation is the presence of passion without intimacy or commitment. Empty love is having commitment without intimacy or passion. Companionate love, which is characteristic of close friendships and family relationships, consists of intimacy and commitment but no passion. Romantic love is defined by having passion and intimacy, but no commitment. Finally, fatuous love is defined by having passion and commitment, but no intimacy, such as a long term sexual love affair. Can you describe other examples of relationships that fit these different types of love?
This text is adapted from OpenStax, Psychology. OpenStax CNX.
When someone reflects on their social relationships in life, they may think about the those they love. According to Robert Sternberg and his Triangular Theory, there are seven forms of love, outside of nonlove, that may vary from one relationship to another and even over time in the same relationship.
That is, as people go through life, they can connect different components that would then develop into differential expressions—from merely being close friends…to lovers…and enduring life partners.
At the base of one corner is commitment—a cognitive process involving a decision to initiate or maintain a relationship. Without any further effort, the love is “empty”; the individual has simply declared that the relationship exists.
On the other corner is passion—an aroused state of positive absorption in another person. This addictive mode of attraction is often present at the beginning, under the arousing lure of physical looks, cognitive charm, or instinctual impulses.
By itself, the love is an infatuation, whereas combining passion and commitment describes a fatuous love, like a love affair.
From here, there are two sides to ascend; both are capped by intimacy—a closeness or liking that occurs by mutually sharing personal details, feelings, and thoughts, beyond small-talk. This form of self-disclosure ensures a reciprocation that deepens the emotional connection between friends.
On one hand, if deprived of commitment, the relationship is one of purely romantic love. And on the other, without passion, the maturational bond develops into companionate love, a truly deep friendship.
Over time, both people may contribute to the possibility of equity—an equal proportion of giving and receiving.
Ultimately, with all components present—commitment, passion, and intimacy—consummate love has a chance to reign, even as some portions can wax and wane. As other prominent psychologists have noted, for love to endure any inevitable setbacks, the number of positive rewards and interactions must outweigh the negative encounters.
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