Relationship Formation

Whether friendly or romantic in nature, the relationships that people form are significantly impacted by two key factors: proximity and similarity.

With proximity—the physical closeness with another person—both parties can interact more frequently. For example, during the first week of college, a student is more likely to make friends with others who are on their same dorm room floor because they constantly see them. Another reason that proximity leads to liking is the mere exposure effect—the idea that the more someone is exposed to something, the more they tend to like it.

They are also more likely to form friendships with people of similar backgrounds, attitudes, and lifestyle choices—such as both being the youngest sibling and having similar tastes in music.

Being attracted to like-minded individuals is called homophily—an all-encompassing tendency to gravitate towards people like ourselves. While sharing common life situations can strengthen connections, be aware that such affinity can also limit exposure to diversity and engaging with people who are different.

Once new relationships are created, they must be maintained. During this phase, bonds are more likely to continue when both sides are contributing, that is, through reciprocity—the give and take in the relationship. An important part of this two-way street is self-disclosure—the sharing of personal information.

For instance, she is more likely to invite her new friend over for pizza after he already had her over for a movie night. The friendship is also expected to become stronger after having an intimate conversation.

Sometimes, close encounters may lead to love, especially if the two people are attracted to each other. Although who a person finds attractive depends on personal preferences and cultural norms, certain physical features are considered more universally appealing—like high cheekbones in women and broad shoulders in men.

In the end, after taking proximity and similarity into account, people "choose" a romantic partner that they view as their equal in attractiveness.