6.2:
Social Exchange Theory
When an interdependent relationship is in its early stages, what’s often referred to as the “honeymoon phase,” each side is likely to go out of their way to please the other or even tolerate something that they would normally find annoying.
Gradually, this period can fade, and before making any commitments, each person may start to rationally analyze their interactions.
More specifically, they weigh the pros—their perceived positive values or rewards, like feeling loved, having a companion, and enjoying adventurous vacations together—and the cons—perceived negative attributes or costs, like infrequent communication and never completing chores—to drive an outcome, such as deciding to stay in the relationship.
This type of cost-benefit analysis buys into the framework of Social Exchange Theory—the notion that social behaviors are part of an exchange process, whereby people are motivated to increase their benefits and decrease costs.
Here, the girl is more likely to stay in the relationship with her partner if she is able to identify more positive features than negative ones: that is, in the overall worth, the rewards outweigh the costs.
In any case, the standards that people use for evaluating social situations may also vary with time and from person to person. For instance, her expectations of the rewards and costs in her current and future relationships may be based on previous experiences, such as an ex-partner who always spoiled her with gifts and expensive dinners.
Thus, prior relationships that were high in rewards may set up high expectations in the future and vice versa.
In this state of comparison, she may also analyze possible alternatives. Perhaps the current relationship is better than anything else out there. If that’s the case, then she may reassess and decide to continue the current relationship.
In the end, Social Exchange Theory is one of the key theories about what drives people’s satisfaction with their relationships and ultimately their choice to maintain or leave a relationship.
6.2:
Social Exchange Theory
We have discussed why we form relationships, what attracts us to others, and different types of love. But what determines whether we are satisfied with and stay in a relationship? One theory that provides an explanation is social exchange theory. According to social exchange theory, we act as naïve economists in keeping a tally of the ratio of costs and benefits of forming and maintaining a relationship with others (Rusbult & Van Lange, 2003).
People are motivated to maximize the benefits of social exchanges, or relationships, and minimize the costs. People prefer to have more benefits than costs, or to have nearly equal costs and benefits, but most people are dissatisfied if their social exchanges create more costs than benefits. For example, if you have ever decided to commit to a romantic relationship, you probably considered the advantages and disadvantages of your decision. What are the benefits of being in a committed romantic relationship? You may have considered having companionship, intimacy, and passion, but also being comfortable with a person you know well. What are the costs of being in a committed romantic relationship? You may think that over time boredom from being with only one person may set in; moreover, it may be expensive to share activities such as attending movies and going to dinner. However, the benefits of dating your romantic partner presumably outweigh the costs, or you wouldn’t continue the relationship.